I hadn’t intended for this post to be Belle inspired but when I arrived at Waddesdon Manor the only thing I could think of was Disney’s Beauty And The Beast. I’m not sure if it was the turrets, the multiple staircases, or the french architecture but the whole lot reminded me so much of my favourite Disney film. I’ve always had a strong connection to the story of Belle ever since I was little when my Dad used to say I was Belle because I always had my nose stuck in a book and when I didn’t I was desperately chasing adventure (in fact he still says I am Belle now!) and so Waddesdon was really a dream come true. As I wandered round the stunningly ornate hallways and rooms I was over come with how magical it all was, I felt like at any moment a clock would begin to talk to me or a chandelier might start dancing and offering me dinner. It made me feel very special and after a long hard week it was exactly what I needed.
The past few months have been really tough and although I left uni excited to follow my dreams I have started to become very lost. I have been unsure of which direction to go in and where it is God wants me, I feel myself slipping into a mundane easy way of life working a job that doesn’t use my brain much and settling down into some one I’m not quite ready to be. I trust that God has got this, that he will lead me in the right direction but that still doesn’t stop me from desperately scrambling for an answer. Because the truth is I am still that little girl dreaming of adventure, I am still wanting to live like they do in the story books and lead a life of excitement. But I also know that life is what you make of it and a loving relationship with God can bring new and exciting adventures every day if only I open myself up to see them. I have to keep reminding myself that freedom doesn’t come from being able to climb a mountain, sail down the Amazon or skinny dip in the sea (nice as those things are) it comes from Jesus, he offers us a life of freedom and we need only take his hand.
I don’t know what God has in store for me over the next few years of living in Oxford with Russell whilst he finishes his degree but I know I can trust that he’s got it. As restless, lost, broken and lonely as I feel he will always be there to guide and love me and so for now I will try to live day by day and enjoy the adventures he offers.
What I Wore…